Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
PANTIES FOUND
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
