maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
