Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize