it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
