You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
