Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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