He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
