If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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