I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize