last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
