I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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