I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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