she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
