Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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