; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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