I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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