i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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