I want to walk on stilts...naked
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
