I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
