Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
