the day after is always just damage control
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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