Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There r osticjed everywhere
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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