saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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