I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
