dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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