Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
