So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
