Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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