Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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