doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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