break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
