i think my mom watched the whole time
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
