i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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