Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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