i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize