Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
