Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
