Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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