Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
