Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
