Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
