So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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