i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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