Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
