My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
last night I used snow as a chaser
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
