hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize