Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
