I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
