Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
