He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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