I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
