pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
