Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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