Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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