Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
