You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
