We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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