chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize