the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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