We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
