butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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