I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
