They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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